The Woe Begotten Non-Investor

I consider myself at this moment horrifically woe-stricken. Upon hearing of Apple's recent success in the stock market, I playfully decided to figure what I'd have made after a couple years had I acted upon the fateful consideration to invest my $2000 in Apple stock. My calculations are based upon an approximate $2000 investment, and a rough recollection of Apple's stock history over the last year or two. Even before the stock split of last year, Apple stock was once at around $17 when I contemplated my investment of $2000 which would have bought me around 118 shares. Last year, with the blazing success of the iPod, and other phenomenal announcements stocks skyrocketed to nearly $80 at which point Apple decided to split the stock, which would have granted me 236 shares at $40. At the close of the market today, Apple stock rested at a comfortable $84.29 following the release of some promising announcements at MacWorld San Francisco on Tuesday. If only you'd witnessed the wailing, moaning and gnashing of teeth as the Dashboard calculator widget presented me with an inconcievable $19,892.44 figure - an astronomical increase of nearly 1000%! And there my money sits in a secure and predictable credit union certificate that may generate, at the conclusion of two years, a meager $400.